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Defensive Counter Moves
Above all else, you must always keep your cool. Staying calm is a tall order for everyone, teenager or adult. But the key to all effective countermoves is the power to remain calm. Once the part of your brain driving emotions kicks in, it becomes really hard to think clearly. If this occurs, human predators know you are out of control emotionally, and then they have won. This will encourage them to turn up the heat on you and others.
Click each behavior to see a suggestion on what to do.
When someone your age declares devotion to you too soon and says something like “You’re my best friend” when you know you are not best friends, or monopolizes your attention with texts, or on social media, take a timeout from this person. If the person’s response is a temper tantrum, then you know you are dealing with a predator. If the person keeps challenging your boundaries, don’t be surprised, but don’t give in either. This is easier said than done because your ego may enjoy the attention.
The greatest mistake you can make is to imagine the love-bomber’s objective is to show you how much you are adored. The love-bombers’s objective is always to persuade you to adore them and when you are completely blinded by love, the love-bomber will give you a box full of jealousy, demands, and grief. You don’t have to open that box. You don’t have to explain to the love-bomber why you need a time-out or why you want to slow things down.
If you suspect you are being gaslighted, document what is happening to you in a private journal. Sometimes just naming the game that gaslighters are running gives you enormous relief. You can trace the truth. If the abuser claims something didn’t happen, trying to make you think you are crazy, you can go back through your notes and see the truth. This can give you power. Once you can call out the predator, the gaslighter won’t have control over you.
Predatory humans like to push the boundaries of others, frequently starting with small infringements. WATCH OUT! Your best defense is to be fully aware when anyone is doing this to you. If you allow these little violations, the next thing you know these people will be tap dancing all over your boundaries.
If a peer or adult lies to you repeatedly, terminate contact with the person. If you cannot break off contact with an adult liar, surround yourself with people who can protect you from the liar. We aren’t talking about little white lies here. We are talking about lies told by human predators meant to lure you, entrap you, and abuse you. Know the differences and WATCH OUT!
Embrace the truth that there is no free lunch. In fact, there’s not even a free snack. So always ask yourself, “What is the price I’ll be expected to pay for this help?” Anytime someone offers to open a door for you, look carefully for the IOU, the payback expected, or the potential for a hidden and twisted agenda
When a predator yells and accuses you of his or her or their own bad deed, WATCH OUT! You do not have to stand there and take the abuse. Simply leave the room, the house, or the phone call. Leave the negative presence of the predator and (if it’s not a family member) never return. Human predators who explode when you call them out can’t succeed if you walk away. They have no target.
Try using the broken-record technique. Just continue to redirect the subject back to the issue the predator is avoiding. Keep your emotions under control. Don’t fall for the predator’s attempts to focus on you. By repeatedly redirecting to the original topic, you may wear the person down or get support from others who are listening. If the group supports you already, the broken-record tactic may even cause the predator to exit the group.
Let them know you have a legal, non-violent ability to shut them down or convince them there is nothing to gain from harming you. Threats should be documented and reported to responsible adults. Teenagers may not want to do this because of a strong bias against authority figures or fear of becoming unpopular as a snitch. However, your safety and the safety of others come first, always. WATCH OUT!
If you become targeted by a clique seeking to bully you (or worse), you are going to need support. Think about the adults you can turn to when you need protection against bullying. While the word bullying may include physical violence, most unhealthy cliques specialize in psychological harm. Psychological wounds can be more painful than physical harm. These wounds rarely heal without support from others who love you and are willing to stand with you against bullying behavior.
If there is anything you are invited to do (online or in real life) that you don’t want others to know about, don’t do it. Assume there are recording cameras watching everything you do in public (and often in private). Why? Because there are. When a human predator isn’t watching your every move online, algorithms are. Soon, AI (artificial intelligence) will be watching. WATCH OUT!
Initially, say nothing. No, that’s not the natural thing your mind will want to do. A common response is to throw a harsh, emotionally driven response. But a quiet pause denies human predators their pleasure. Instead of matching their naked aggression with a verbal slap, you gain the upper hand by sidestepping the blow completely. Plus, your calm and quiet give you time to think about your next move.
The art of knowing includes knowing what to stay away from, whom to stay away from, and how to stay away from them so they can’t seek you out as a target.
Starve the Beast!
Setting Boundaries
Building Protection Teams
Booklet #1 Staying Safe Online
A Parent's Guide to Defending Teenagers against Predatory Cyber-Attacks
When human predators hunt teens on social media platforms, they may be luring you into sextortion scams, selling bogus products, seeking to steal your data, or conning you into sending them money.
When a human predator isn’t watching your every move online, algorithms are. Soon, AI (artificial intelligence) will be watching. WATCH OUT! Online dating sites, chat rooms, and other social media are crawling with scammers. These creeps have no conscience, but they do have highly polished skills at getting inside teenagers’ heads. The best defense against these new dangers is knowledge. There are ways to defend yourself and your family and Watch Out! Booklet #1 A Parent's Guide to Defending Teenagers against Predatory Cyber-Attacks will show you how.
Booklet #1 is the first of 4 booklets being added to the Watch Out! series and teaches parents and teens how to defend themselves against predatory cyber-attacks of all kinds.
Resources
Protect your family online!
GRAB A COPY OF 'BOOKLET #1'
A Parent's Guide to Defending Teenagers
against Predatory Cyber-Attacks
